Living with The Shoulds and using Your Voice

Bear with me, this is an experiment…

Because of the nature of these thoughts, I decided to record a short (less than 5 minutes) vid.

And much as it’s nice to think that someone might actually watch it, strangely it feels a little beside the point. I had loads of fun doing it and I used my voice.

Hope you’re all well and happy.


9 thoughts on “Living with The Shoulds and using Your Voice

  1. I hope you are no longer drowning in unbreakable commitments! And perhaps 2011 might be the Year That Ian Gets Back to Aikido…

  2. Ah well, now you’re asking the big questions. Today is not the best day to ask, I feel like I’m drowning in unbreakable commitments!

    My equivalent of your walk in the Bo Gardens is to go and sit on the banks of the Avon, just across the road from the office. I don’t do that nearly enough, and it costs me nothing to do.

    I had an equivalent of yoga, too, but I gave it up when the kids were small. Each year since has been the Year I Get Back to Aikido, but it hasn’t happened yet. Must do something about that before my gi crumble to dust…

  3. And so lovely after all this time, that you should take the time to listen to me and respond!

    You’re right, it is trite and yet most of us do need to be reminded. And even those of us that do the reminding fall off the wagon. This last week or so has been even more ridiculously busy than usual, and the one thing that enables me to sustain myself – a daily walk in the botanical gardens and yoga – has been the first to go. Even as I make the choice to respond to another half a dozen emails instead of heading out into the fresh air, I hear my inner voice say ‘Really?!’ And promptly ignore it. Note to self, must walk my own talk.

    Your comment about working in an open plan office and socialising in near silence has in return tickled me. I really must get some sleep now, but this is food for thought…But a question before I go, what do you do to nourish yourself?

  4. Arrrgh… my lovely husband has swiped my speakers and I can’t hear your voice… but you present beautifully Tink. I’ll be in for any dark chocolate and cookie dough that’s going…

  5. That was very cool.

    Your theme of nourishing oneself is very important. Physical nourishment is so fundamental that we pay it little mind, (assuming our needs are being met, of course!), and feeding our intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs is often overlooked.

    I’ve been trying to focus on this lately. I went through a period of depression a couple of years ago, and ever since I’ve been a little more careful of my mental health. I’ve learned that finding those moments are crucial to my wellbeing and my ability to function as a husband, father, professional and just as Ian.

    Its so obvious as to be trivial or trite, but if its so obvious, so trivial, why do we have to be reminded? Whatever, the harder it is for us to find the time, the more important it probably is that we do.

    Your other theme, of using our voices, tickled me. I work in a technical field. In our open plan office, there are seven or eight of us at any one time. We collaborate, we plan and we socialise in near silence. Even though we share the same physical location, the bulk of our communication is mediated by instant messenging and email.

    I swim against the tide on this one — I am that rare species, the gregarious geek. As such, I am viewed with suspicion by my peers. Even so, it can be seductive. I can only imagine how it must appear to an outsider as we share a joke: A tapping of keys, a collective chuckle, more tapping, more chuckles.

    It was so lovely to hear your voice, after all this time. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  6. You have shown up relatively recently in my life and I am truly delighted that you have. That you continue to show up each day is a gift. Because even though I no longer need to have your video playing during my yoga practice every day, I hear your voice. The pleasure, privilege and joy is mine too. Here’s to raising a glass of wine (and a block of dark chocolate!) to showing up, soon! Tx

  7. The honour is mutual dearest Stefania! We must find some time, with Francesca, Ray and Christoph, for some mmmmming and bon appetiting over Christmas. There is a big old bowl here in the kitchen just waiting to hold more cookie dough. Much love, Tink.

  8. A beautiful experiment! I love your voice, your presence and your message. As for me, I spent Saturday morning making sandwiches with my sister, catching up in person with a friend I’ve only connected with online for the past year and then playing in Cornwall park with my sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles, my mother and my grandmother. And then – when the rest of my family collapsed into bed at 8pm and I realised I wasn’t yet tired I considered doing some work and then blew off the work and went out alone to the lovely, lovely Lido cinema for a glass of wine, some chocolate and a movie. Sometimes there really is nothing for it but to show up in person, and let the to do list wait. Thank you for showing up, and most of all, for letting me show up with you. It’s a deep pleasure, a privilege and a joy.

  9. dearest Tink – ray and i have just watched your ‘voice’ and it is and you are beauty-full. ray says your ‘inner wisdom’ was coming through that voice, molto voce. and i say that your eyes were also singing of shining, and your face was ‘in being’, soft without should, joyful at having been nourished. i will pick up the phone and tell you all this (without my best Tina Turner wail and shimmyshake) not because i should, but because i would love to; because you are my dear friend and when our voices get together they channel Nigella and Julia, mmmming and bon appetiting – nourishing each other! We are also the harmonic of those two soul singers gloriously praising ‘oh what a day!’ Because you chose being over doing, shhhh over should, the bees and the ‘ti kouka’ have been nourished by your gentle gaze, the ground would have yielded to you, and the sunlight would have danced over the skin that chose to drink in and simply touch life, to bake, to eat cookie dough and to just be – with yourself, in your full voice, sharing it with those you love. i thank you for ‘being’ you – and i am very honoured that you are my singoutsister friend.

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